By Mike Smith
10th of March 2017
Psychopathic Resentment - Why your attacker hates you even though you have done nothing to him
When one looks at the veracity of violence against the victims of crime in South Africa, then one notices an intense hatred of the victim by the perpetrators. Innocent people are not simply robbed, but often, and in most cases, severely beaten and tortured for hours or even days as in the recent case of the 79 year old Trevor Rees where his attackers came back a day later to beat and kick the defenceless, tied up farmer some more.
This violence and hatred is not only aimed at the person or persons being robbed at the time, but extends to their children, parents and even their pets, maids, gardeners and farm workers. Even young children (like little Willemientjie Potgieter, 2yo at the time) are tortured or shot like beings less than dogs. It is clear that his attack is not just against you, but against society as a whole.
To normal people this kind of violence is incomprehensible and cannot be understood, because in their minds they have done absolutely nothing to their attacker/s, they cannot understand why and how someone can hate them so much when they didn’t even personally know their attacker/s and vice versa.
However, in the mind of your attacker he knows you intimately and you know him. In fact he does not see himself as an attacker and you as the victim. In the inverted universe in the mind of your attacker, he is the innocent victim and YOU are the evil attacker.
He can justify every single attack, every action, by blaming you. In his mind he has suffered his entire life under your constant attacks. Everything you have done in your life or is currently doing is, because you want to stick it to him and put him down.
Your success is a constant reminder of his own failure and inferiority. Any outward sign of your prosperity is a personal affront against him.
When you study hard to get an education to better yourself, you only do it, because you want to show him how dumb and stupid he is, for not getting an education. You are insulting his intelligence or lack thereof. When you send your children to school, care for your children; buy them gifts, etc...you are only doing it, because you want to show him what a bad parent or person he is.
When you get and hold down a good job, you want to stick it to him and show him how useless he is and how much better you are than him, because he is jobless and cannot find a real job.
When you are wearing nice clothes and drive a nice car, you are taunting him with your superiority. You think you are better than him.
When you live in a nice house and have a nice garden you did not get it through hard work, you have it because you somehow exploited him or his forefathers and now you are showing off how much you have stolen from him or how you have exploited him and his forefathers.
Just your mere presence, you being alive and living a normal life is a visible reminder of his inferiority and his situation. You are the mirror in which he looks and he does not like what he sees, but instead of using the mirror to improve and better himself, he resents it. He wants to destroy it, because that is an easier solution than bettering himself.
When there is no real reason and no evidence of you injuring him or being bad to him (you don’t even know him and he doesn’t know you) he will invent it. He needs to justify his actions to himself so that he can always remain innocent in his mind and it is always easier to rob and kill someone who deserves it.
Therefore the attacker believes that his indignation is justified and righteous. Beating you up, raping you, torturing you, stealing from you and killing you is not a crime in his mind. It is tit for tat. It is retribution and payback for you putting him down his entire miserable life. Not just you, but your entire community and society that you belong to. He wants to balance the scales and at the same time teach you a lesson. Stealing from you, robbing you, robbing your house, etc are merely secondary attempts to balance the scales and not that important to him.
That is why we often see very few material things stolen in farm attacks or farm murders. Often only a cell phone or some insignificant object is taken. To the victims and other normal people this makes no sense. “How can a person kill someone just for a cell phone?”, they ask...but what they don’t understand is that in the mind of the attacker, the cell phone is just a prize, a trophy for his righteous effort to settle the score and return the balance to the scales...at least temporarily. It's a restoration of justice. He thinks, "You were putting me down. Now guess what? I'm going to put you down. You've got all that. I'm going to take it away." ”You think you’re big, I am so small, but look what I can do to you”, robbers taunt dad whilst kicking him in the face
Now you take a person like that, make him the president of your country and allow him to surround himself with other criminal psychopaths who vote for him, support him and keep him in power and you can start to comprehend who your attacker REALLY is.
The person attacking you in your home at the end of the day is just an extended member of this psychopathic criminal gang.
Proper knowledge of your attacker’s psychology already helps you to avoid him and deal with him.
Your attacker is essentially a lazy, opportunistic and psychopathic, coward. He is not a predator. Instead he is a common scavenger. This does not mean that he is weak or less dangerous. Neither is he stupid nor exceptionally clever. He is extremely CUNNING and therefore extremely dangerous.
Further it is important to realize that the person attacking you is first of all NOT a reasonable person. Reasonable people do not attack other people.
Reasonable people study hard and work hard for their money; they don’t steal, rob, intimidate, hi-jack, torture and kill people for money.
Reasonable men court and date women; they do not rape.
Your attacker finds all of this too much effort, too costly, too time consuming.... He wants to get the maximum amount of loot with the least amount of effort. Therefore he is constantly scouting for possible victims and possible opportunities and if a chance presents itself he will attack. He will also form alliances and surround himself with other likeminded psychopaths and gang up against victims.
Therefore you cannot have a reasonable discussion with your attacker. If anything, you need to TELL him, ORDER him, or physically impose your will on him. Like a spoiled and out of control five year old child you need to show him where the borders are and what the consequences are when he steps out of those borders.
How your attacker chooses his victims
Criminals do not choose their victims randomly. They are always looking for weaknesses, distractions and fears. The reason why he appears so successful is, because he preys on the weak in the herd, not the strongest.
Your attacker’s mind does not work the same way as yours or as that of a normal reasonable person. As we have said...he might not be super intelligent, but he is also not super dumb. However, he uses every bit of intelligence that he can muster in a criminal way for criminal goals. He thinks about taking advantage of victims in every conceivable way possible...every second of every day. This makes him extremely dangerous, especially, because he knows that his victims do not think like him and are most of the time not prepared for his actions and that is all he needs; He simply needs you to be unprepared.
As a coward your attacker will not attack you when there are lots of people or witnesses around. He will wait until you are alone. Your attacker will not attack or face you from the front. He will attack you from behind and when you are not looking or paying attention. He will not show his face, he will be masked. Your attacker will not come empty handed, he will have a weapon.
Your attacker will seldom come alone, most of the time he has backup from a gang of attackers. Your attacker will not come during the day, he will come at night.
The attacker is not interested in a fair fight and will never keep to ethical sportsmanlike behaviour. He will be cowardly, brutal and kick you when you are down or hit you from behind and he has no problem doing it to a woman, a child or an older defenceless person.
Your attacker relies on terror and the element of surprise.
As we will see with “Situational Awareness”, the attacker wants to take you from code white to code black instantly. In his book “1984” George Orwell writes, “The object of terrorism is to terrorize”.
Your attacker wants you to freeze up when surprised with an act of terror.
Don’t let him ever surprise you. Good situational awareness will prevent this and will ensure that you always know exactly which state of alertness you are in.
Your attacker does not want you to make a lot of noise and draw attention. He wants to attack, but does not want to BE attacked. That is why he will try to clasp over your mouth, suffocate you or incapacitate you. The attacker does not want the police or any other help to arrive while he is busy, so he will isolate you and he will try to make it as quick as possible...unless he is sure that you are extremely well isolated, then he will rape you or torture you for hours.
Most importantly…Your attacker does not want you to fight back. He wants you to be an easy victim. He wants certainty of success without having to work too hard.
Do not simply hand over the loot Conventional “wisdom” and bullshit self defence instructors will tell you that the sooner you hand over the loot the sooner the robber will be out of your face. However, literally thousands of cases in South African farm attacks and home invasions have shown that this is seldom the case. People are still beaten, tortured, raped and killed even AFTER they have handed over the loot. These beatings and tortures carry on for hours or days.
Simply put, do not simply hand over the loot and...fight back. Don’t make it easy for him. Do everything possible to make it as difficult as possible for him and make him work as hard as possible. Your attacker hates hard work and does not want to hang around until other people come and help you or until the police arrive. When it takes too long or when it is too much effort, he will give up the fight and run away.
Guerilla Survival in Self Defence - Surviving an attack as a strategy to win
You do not need to be strong or exceptionally well skilled to survive an attack. You are not necessarily looking at knocking him out, you are first and foremost looking to SURVIVE.
Think about the Battle of Blood River. The Voortrekkers were not attacking, they were defending. They were not looking for retribution for the Bloukrans Massacre. They simply wanted to SURVIVE. The fact that they dealt a knockout blow to their attackers was a way of making sure the attacker does not stand up again and carry on attacking them.
One of the first things a Jiu Jitsu martial artist learns as a white belt is how to survive.
As a white belt he has very few skills and very little experience, so he needs to be able to survive for as long as possible. This skill of survival he takes throughout his life. If you can tire your opponent, survive and outlast your opponent long enough, he will give up the fight and you can beat him.
This is exactly the same principle the guerrilla fighter applies. He knows he is weaker and not as well equipped as his opponent, but if he can survive long enough so that the opponent gives up the fight, he will win. We have seen this in Vietnam with the French and the Americans and in Afghanistan with the Russians. This is also the strategy the ANC and SWAPO used in Namibia and South Africa and why they are currently in power. They simply outlasted their much stronger opponents and waited for them to give up the fight.
Prevention is better than cure
Most self defence courses will show you some flashy moves that do not work in a real self defence situation and skip the most important part; the part of how to prevent such a situation altogether.
The best self defence is to avoid a situation where you might have to defend yourself.
Self defence starts a long time before the attack. It starts in your mind. Do not be naïve. Do not believe that all people only mean you good. Realise that there are evil psychopathic people in this world who will rob and kill you if presented with the opportunity to do so. Never give them that opportunity.
It is further very important not to become so paranoid that you stop living and enjoying life. If you do that, your attacker has won.
Do not isolate yourself. Have plenty of people around. Don’t flash wads of cash. Don’t show expensive equipment like cell phones, cameras, jewellery, etc. Make sure you always have good situational awareness. Have an advanced warning system, even if it is just a dog.
If you are under attack, make a lot of noise. Scream, blow a whistle and bang on something, whatever. Tell people to call the police. Rip your attacker’s mask off and most importantly, viciously FIGHT BACK with everything you’ve got!
Fighting back buys you time and time is what your attacker does not have. Your attacker will run away before he runs out of time…When he starts to doubt if he will be successful, he will give up the fight and you will survive.
Thy myth of the skimpily dressed woman
Conventional wisdom holds that women who dress provocatively are inviting rapists and putting themselves at risk. However, this is not true. Think about all the elderly women and babies being raped in South Africa. None of them wore skimpy clothes. Or dressed provocatively. Rapist go for weaknesses, not for sexiness. They go for the one who fights back the least.
Research (Predators: Who They Are and How to Stop Them, by Gregory M. Cooper, Michael R. King, and Thomas McHoes as well as Betty Grayson and Morris I. Stein 1984) shows that it is rather women with passive, submissive personalities who are most likely to be raped—and that they tend to wear body-concealing clothing, such as high necklines, long pants and sleeves, and multiple layers.
Rapist are looking for weaknesses and can accurately identify submissive women just by their style of dress, their appearance and the way they walk and carry themselves. Rapist, like other attackers, go for the weakest in the herd. If you slump and appear submissive, you appear weak.
There is a very good reason why some people often get picked upon and constantly attacked whilst others NEVER get attacked. It is called Confident Assertiveness as opposed to Submissiveness.
In other words, show that you are alert and not prepared to be anyone’s victim. Show that you know your rights and are not going to be easily exploitable and that you are willing to put up a tremendous fight if attacked.
Make Hicks Law work for you
Simply put, Hicks Law states that the more choices you have the longer it is going to be before you take a decision.
Later on we will see how this can be a problem for you, but Hick’s Law works both ways and…it is related to IQ.
If you can activate your attacker’s, lazy, cowardly, psychopathic and criminal cognitive system and keep it occupied for long enough, you can avoid being attacked.
Be confident. Never show weakness; Never show fear
Think about a dangerous dog sizing you up and looking for signs of fear and weakness before he attacks. Don’t show him weakness. Don’t run away.
In a similar way, the attacker will size up his victim looking for signs of fear, distractions and weaknesses; It is your job to keep him guessing. In the mean time you size up his facial expressions and read the facial cues.
As long as you can make him doubt his chances of success he will not attack. If his victim looks, bigger, stronger, faster, fitter, or simply Paraat (An Afrikaans word meaning Military-like, disciplined attentiveness; from Latin “Paratus” –“Ready”)…he will not attack.
That means don’t show that you are distracted. Don’t show that you are looking at your cell phone, don’t pull the map out and stare inattentively at it. Don’t walk around with earphones on or plugged in. Don’t take photographs and not pay attention.
Appearing drunk is also a sign of weakness that can be exploited. Attackers like to beat up on drunk people and rape drunk women. When you are drunk, you are easy prey. You are easy to knock down and rob and worse, raped.
You do not have to be big or strong. You only need to show that you are Paraat, aware, confident and in a state of readiness and show it in the way you carry yourself and the way you look. Never show arrogance, but also never show fear. When your attacker sees, “It is not worth the effort” he is not going to attack.
When you are walking down the road and there is a group of possible attackers standing against a wall where you have to pass, remember that passing them will just take a few seconds. That is all you need. Their minds will start to compute their chances of success straight away. You just have to make them doubt their chances of success just for a few seconds until you are passed and you will be OK. This can be achieved with assertive confidence.
On the other hand, if you stop, show fear and start to back pedal or run away, you will signal that they will have a good chance of success and they will come for you. You don’t need to say anything. You don’t need to show any weapons (yet). In fact showing a weapon at this stage will give them clarity on exactly what you have to offer and what their chances of success are. You want them to doubt; to guess…to be in a state of uncertainty. This is what assertive confidence or Paraatheid does.
They must wonder why you are so confident. They must think you have all this confidence because you have many options and possibly concealed weapons. Options they are maybe not aware of and cannot see. Maybe you have seen a policeman up ahead. Maybe you see witnesses or a CCTV camera that they cannot see. Maybe you are a trained martial artist. Whatever it is, keep them guessing about your nonchalant confidence. By the time they figure it out you are passed and gone.
Home invasions and hijackings
When it comes to your home, don’t count on walls, safety gates, burglar bars and alarms to keep your attacker away. None of these are certain deterrents. If a person wants to get into your home he is going to get in.
However, you can make it as difficult as possible for him...and you can make him doubt his chances of success by being clever and using subterfuge and deception.
Criminals have admitted that they are NOT deterred by burglar bars but avoid homes where small dogs make a lot of noise. When they see a pair of large male Wellington boots or a large motorcycle in front of the entrance door, they will avoid the home. In my backyard I’ve always had a punching bag hanging in the tree, visible from the road. For women living alone this could be a good strategy. Let them think there is a big trained guy living there.
When you stop at a traffic light, always make sure you can still see the wheels of the car in front of you. This will give you enough distance for a quick getaway. If you cannot see the wheels touch the tarmac, you are too close. When there are criminal elements keep the gears engaged and your foot on the clutch.
OK I know...It is not good for the release bearing and it might not be safe, but it might save you from getting hijacked.
Don’t fiddle with your radio or the GPS. Don’t talk on your cell phone, and don’t wear ear phones. These are all signs of distractions and exactly what your attacker is looking for. Don’t have your handbag on the front seat. Put it in the boot.
Understand the psychopathic nature of your attacker. Get into his mind and it will be a lot easier for you to defend yourself. Your main aim is to SURVIVE. Try to avoid the self defence situation altogether, but when attacked, fight back viciously and resist with everything you’ve got. Do not simply hand over the loot. It is no guarantee that you will be safe and you might still be beaten tortured, raped or killed. Thousands of examples can be taken from daily self defence and survival situations in South Africa. Your best chance of survival is to fight back. The moment you start fighting back and lending severe resistance, the clock is ticking for your attacker until help or the police arrive. You want the attack to stop. Make your attacker run out of time and he will run away.